For some time now I have received emails on how my husband and I went about courting . This will be my longest post I believe . I know its necessary . I will be sharing the difference between dating and courting . I hope you’ll enjoy this post and find this helpful .
First what is the definition of courting?
Courting – 1.be involved with romantically, typically with the intention of marrying.
2.pay special attention to (someone) in an attempt to win their support or favor.
Meaning of Dating?
Dating: 1.go out with (someone in whom one is romantically or sexually interested in)
Ok Now that we got the meanings out the way let’s get a little deeper into this.
The first thing is that we must separate ourselves from the world’s view on “dating” because God’s way contradicts the world’s (2 Peter 2:20). While the world’s view is to date around as much as we want, the most important thing is to discover the character of a person before making any commitment to him or her. We should find out if the person has been born again in the Spirit of Christ (John 3:3-8) and if he or she shares the same desire toward Christ-likeness (Philippians 2:5). The ultimate goal of courting is finding a life partner. The Bible tells us that, as Christians, we should not marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14-15) because this would weaken our relationship with Christ and compromise our morals and standards.
Remember, courtship is where you are exploring a deeper relationship with marriage being the goal. When your JUST dating marriage is not your primary Goal.
In a courtship you will pray together seeking God to lead the relationship in the right direction . When you enter a courtship there’s no doubt or uncertainty that you will marry that person . You have to be certain that you are ready for marriage . That is where prayer comes in you ask God reveal to you if your ready for marriage . In a courtship both parties of the families are informed and has approval . When attending dates there’s always an accountability, a person that is there to keep the fire from being lit (lol) . Positive intentions are the goal . Preserving the persons purity is the goal. No sex is in courting, sex is a gift in marriage . Some couples choose not to kiss, hold hands , or give front hugs only side hugs . Honestly its up to the couple to set up boundaries . My husband and I shared a few pecks and held hands but we knew our boundaries/limit . Know your weakness and set your boundaries. My brother tagged along on all our dates(poor guy) but he kept us accountable . When your just dating there’s not a focus to set boundaries . Theres no accountablity.Getting to know each other is the focus and not marriage . Although marriage can be an option but it’s not something that is focused on in dating. Courtship’s are for those that are mature and know what they want . Dating is pretty much wanting to chill and see where things lead rather than knowing where its going.
In a courting relationship it allows you to be transparent with one another . If you can not see yourself marring that person please do not enter a relationship let alone a courtship. courtship’s not for the spiritually immature . Courting is focusing on marriage and being better for marriage. Allowing yourself to be spiritually lead.Usually 1-3 years. While the couple is preparing for marriage they are seeking spiritual/marriage counseling. If you are a selfish person you should not consider a serious relationship until you are mature enough .
To wrap this up . Ladies and Gent as believers of Christ we must keep God first in any decision that we make . Especially when choosing a spouse to marry. We must not compromise with the world “testing the waters” you are setting yourself up for hurt or uncertainty. Wouldn’t you want to be certain? Wouldn’t you want GODS approval?
Reasons of Courting :
1. Preventing yourself from heartaches, Pain, Abuse
2. Allowing God to be in the mist
5. Keeping your morals and your purity as priority
When courting, it is important to remember to love the Lord above all else (Matthew 10:37). To say or believe that another person is “everything” or the most important thing in one’s life is idolatry, which is sin (Galatians 5:20;Colossians 3:5). Also, we are not to defile our bodies by having premarital sex (1 Corinthians 6:9,13;2 Timothy 2:22). Sexual immorality is a sin not only against God but against our own bodies (1 Corinthians 6:18). It is important to love and honor others as we love ourselves (Romans 12:9-10), and this is certainly true for a courtship relationship. Courting, following these biblical principles is the best way to have a secure foundation for a marriage. It is one of the most important decisions one will ever make, because when two people marry, they cleave to one another and become one flesh in a relationship which God intended to be permanent and unbreakable (Genesis 2:24;Matthew 19:5).
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